Tired Of Something
Sometimes I grow very tired through absorption of complexed negative energy which I am entirely unaware of until the damage has been produced. I don't wish to rave or even complain about its effect on my whole being, body, mind, and spiritual essence. I do, however, wish to make others aware of this phenomenon in order to allow them to be aware of its presence, of which I have only begun to understand it at all.
The air becomes heavier when it is present around the unsuspecting person it seems to mindfully drain of energy. My limited experience of such an apparent density in my surroundings has affected my greater ability to familiarize myself with its yet unknown state of origin. Or has it existed in an undetected way all along, and only now making its appearance felt. It certainly evades my sight. it is a nuisance, however...
Today I felt exhausted even after sleeping like the dead for what seemed an eternity. Something is physically different about me now. I can sense it. In a way, I am still Michael, but I am not the Michael I was in my memories. Especially in those private thoughts in total silence, which once felt comforting in their privacy. This persists too long.
It is as if I were being remotely manipulated. In a really twisted way of thinking, I almost feel what it must be like to be stalked! ...But by what? There is nothing there...
Today I return to my chronology with a renewed essence of spirit. I feel deep and profound peace inside. I am convinced that what I was supposing was incorrectly dispelling of my restlessness of mind. It has been a grueling period in my life, but it has abated. My confidence is at an apex of the tallest mountain my mind can conjure. People have noticed this transformation and have shown me signs of being pleased. I've even been called a source up uplifting power. I have come to understand that your state of mind is what governs all else.
It has been a few days since I last entered an update in my chronology. My absence was no lack of any particularly unwanted thing that purposefully cause any inclination to avoid checking in. The truth behind my lapse was a personal crisis of a loved one, which I am pleased to announce turned around and became a positive thing. As mere mortals, we do run across situations like the one which recently plagued me, and turned out alright, We weren't born with instructions of predicted routes to avoid in life. Truthfully? I find life holds a greater mystique when we are unknowing as to what each day will bring.
Another space in time. I am in a state of intrigue by what I came across while happily cleaning my quarters today. Underneath some things was a noose! It was at the end of an exceedingly long rope and I can't remember there ever being a time in my many years on this Earth when I could have fashioned such an object in desperation. It was such a mystery that I questioned the people who live inside my building whether they had ever seen it and was subjectively gazed upon in a horrified manner by some, while others dismissed my inquiry as water rolls off a ducks backside.
I have come to realize many things by this point which hadn't crossed my mind in the former. Nothing is ever as it seems. In fact, I have created a quote that may be used by many others in future times. "It is what it is. But it is not what it was, and it is never what it appears to be." I considered it witty after I played it back inside my mind. To each their own. I wasn't put on this planet, or plain, or whatever technicality you choose to summarize the formation of this ground beneath us. All that I am certain of is the fact that I woke up, and was still sucking air when I did so...
...Drained today again. Energy Vampire at large in the area surrounding my location. Is it any wonder why we feel especially lacking in vitality at certain, yet mysterious times. When I mentioned my drained sensation to my lady friend, she said it was not a wonder. Though to be truthful I didn't expend very much energy on making love to her. Another thing... Did you ever feel that for no tangible reason, you are suddenly creeped out by the distinct feeling that you are being watched? Oh, I realize that such is the hallmark of our times. But when you are alone, in a reasonable surety of the state of your singular presence... Are you?
My living quarters are in a much-needed state of the kind that necessitates tidying up at my earliest possible convenience. No scrubbing and even no dusting is the thing. While I was reading a novel I have become interested in, I got that feeling again. It was a weird sensation. Not the energy vampire per se, I don't know though. Maybe... This was the eat me up, the feeling of being observed from an unknown place. Perhaps by the invisible man. I don't know and I can't be sure of anything but the deep feeling through to your soul swear to God type of thing. Listen. I'm not nuts! I don't makeup stories to entertain audiences with this violated state of being I have in me. Oh... Go to hell if you,... I'm sorry!
While I was thinking about my moodiness when I last checked in with my soul, I began to absolutely lose my cool again. I did clean up my quarters after searching fruitlessly for a hidden camera... I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I am considering seeing somebody help me with all of this baggage. It can't hurt. I can't hurt... anymore, because I'm at the end of my rope...Yeah. It was mine but it was only there for an emergency! Am I healthy in the mind? I've stressed a tad. Oh. Please don't look at me in that, "Man... You are nuts," way. I'm not. I have been through a lot recently. Please, try to understand.
A fictional thought process... ~Michael`*
ɓƴ©W.R.Schaefer Jr.
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